These past couple of weeks have been kind of challenging for me. I’ve been thinking a lot about where I’m at and I seem to be stuck.
I had just finished getting the kids ready for bed, my son had fallen asleep shortly after I finished reading to him, and my daughter would not fall asleep so I sat her down in the family room to watch one of her favourite shows while I prepared my meals last night for work today.
Then it hit me and boy did it hurt. I keep looking ahead too far. I have been thinking about things that I want to happen in the distant future so much so that I’m missing everything in the present. I feel like there’s so much that I want to do that I’m spreading myself out and not able to commit to anything 100%. It was a good thing that I kind of had that moment to make that discovery, because it helped me realize that I do need to look at how I’m doing things and really ‘live each day as if it is my last.’ Coincidentally my wife came home at about the same time which was another good thing. She had just come back from a parent council meeting for our son’s school. She had just volunteered this past year and she’s been able to put into action some great fundraising events with the council and everything went incredibly well for her that evening. I mentioned to her how amazed I am at how she was able to do the research she needed to do and get things accomplished. We talked for a bit, it felt good. She reminded me of some things that I’ve not been doing as often as I should. Celebrate my accomplishments. Live in the present and enjoy. She also reminded me of some of the things that I need to work on. One of the biggest things is to see something through to the end.
Mark had mentioned in the week 22a video that we need to take an honest look and ask have we been doing the work, take a look over what we’ve been doing and really dig in to solidify new habits over the remaining weeks of the course.
I really have to dig in, I feel like I’m falling apart. I honestly thought it would be easier near the end of the course, it’s actually been quite the opposite for me.
Good thing is I’ve figured out a few things that have been keeping me from moving forward.
I know in my last post I had said that I have been enjoying life a lot more, and that I tend to focus on the more serious stuff when it comes to posting something on my blog. Well here are some of things that I have had fun with this week, despite the challenges I’ve been having.
I had a pillow fight with my son and daughter Sunday night before bath time.
I made it home on time Tuesday morning to walk my son to the school bus stop, he couldn’t contain his excitement.
I held my daughter in my arms and sang and danced with her as she laughed uncontrollably.
My son was having a meltdown moment Tuesday night, I was able to calmly change his mood around to laughter and happiness.
I took my son out on Wednesday to purchase a toy that he had wanted with the gift cards he had received as a birthday gift.
I was able to spend time with both kids Wednesday night while my wife was out.
I had a heartfelt discussion with my wife Wednesday night. Something that I haven’t done with her in a while. Words cannot describe the love I feel for her.
I may have a few more late nights coming up and some rough days ahead, but it’s a small price to pay.
I’ll end this post with a passage from The Greatest Salesman in the World, something that I am doing and want to continue doing:
If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labour.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will remember past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be master of my emotions.