Monthly Archives: January 2016

Grief – Master Key Week 17HJ

Grief. The feeling of the week for me.

This week we were shown how the four stages of death can be applied to this course and how we can get stuck in one of the first three stages. The four stages are denial, anger, grief and acceptance.

I looked up the definition of grief. Grief is deep sorrow especially that caused by someone’s death.100px-Bellezza_Dario_tomba_2

Grief, the final stage before acceptance. I thought about this all week and what I’ve been feeling going through this course. I tried to put this post together last night, I think about it, I’ve been at this stage before. I have a lot of thoughts going through my head but I just can’t focus. I wake up this morning, a few things happen that get me thinking again… grief, I’ve been at this stage before, grief… think, don’t measure.

Then the memories come back, a lot of them. I’ll share one about dating and relationships for me. They were rather painful for me and the people I had dated.

I had gone through all the stages. Denial: This isn’t happening to me, I can find someone, there’s nothing wrong with me so it must be them, I don’t need to fix anything on my end I don’t need to be a better person, I don’t need to change. Anger: Why can’t I find the right person, why didn’t she call back? I didn’t like her anyway. These are just some of the many thoughts I had in my head. Understanding what I know now I used denial and anger to justify not looking within to solve those problems and have a different outcome in my world without, I continually failed to answer the call.

Then grief sets in. I felt a lot of it. What I did not realize is that this was a good thing. I had been so fed up with the behaviours of my past, trying the same things over and over and over again that just weren’t working. I felt deep sorrow, misery, pain, distress, heartache, heartbreak, despair. What I didn’t know is that the habits of my past had died. My old self had died. I did not care to use the thoughts of my past anymore. I had already crossed that line from the known into the unknown. I did not know what to expect, I didn’t care. I accepted the fact that what I had known was gone. It was time to continue moving forward.

On September 12th of 2007 there was an annual event in town, the Terry Fox Run. I was working with the volunteer fire department at the time and we were going to have a truck there to show our support and help with the fund raising and well, most kids like seeing a big red truck at almost any event so if they weren’t enjoying the run/walk /jog with their parents we could cheer them up with a tour through our truck. I wasn’t sure if I would attend; I had done a trail run the day before and didn’t know if I’d be in any shape to participate. I woke up that morning, felt a little rough, but I decided to go and help out. Well it was the most fun I had the pleasure of enjoying in a long time. I love kids, the thought of one day having a family was something I truly wanted, but that day I decided to let everything go, to just enjoy the day. At one point I did notice a group of people off in the distance, one person in particular, she had a white ball cap on with her hair in a ponytail out the back of the hat, a fitted outfit and roller blades. She looked cute, but I had thought she looks a little young. I quickly forgot about her and got back to helping out my co-workers with the kids. Little did I know that this particular girl that I had seen had spotted me too. Two very strange things happened during and after that event. A couple of hours into the event an older gentleman approached us and after asking some general questions that anyone would ask he felt compelled to tell me that I had a secret admirer, thanked us all for our time, turned around and left. A little baffled and curious we all joked about it for a bit and left it at that. A couple of days later if memory serves me correct, I had some electrical work to finish up at a house in town. The lady that I was doing the work for told me that there was a friend of hers at the Terry Fox Run that saw me there and wanted to get to know me. She gave me a phone number and said that this woman is sort of old fashioned, she said she would like me to give her a call. I did. Turns out that ‘cute girl’ was my secret admirer.  Today I am that cute girls’ husband and we have a beautiful family together.

That day at the Terry fox Run I gave up. I gave up all the habits of my past, all the memories associated with them all the thoughts of fear, worry, self-doubt, denial, anger, grief, I let the old me die. That day I started a journey a journey into the life I had always wanted.

Today I find myself in that stage of grief again. But today I am better prepared. I love my beautiful wife and our wonderful children. I love everyone and I want to do my best to become the best that I am capable of becoming. Today I let go of who I was. Today I take another step forward towards living life with purpose.

Advertisements

Change – Week 17 MKMMA

 

Change.Well I’ve gone and done it. I’ve made the decision to move to a hosted blog. In the past I would have been very uncomfortable with the decision, probably would have lost sleep over it. But for the first time in a long time I’m actually really excited about learning something new. I’m looking forward to the change. Hah! I think I can honestly say that I have given myself permission to enjoy my new adventure… standby as I figure things out!

I have some homework to do, to get familiar with my new site, but I will be back next week with more to share.change

Week 16 MKMMA – Something to Think About

Two interesting things I’d like to discuss.

First:

In the Master Key Part Sixteen, Haanel describes the Law of Sevens and how it pretty much governs everything. This is pretty incredible. It doesn’t matter whether or not you are aware of this Law, it just is, we’re all in it.

Life is growth and growth is change, each seven year period takes us into a new cycle…

…The fifthh period is the constructive period, when men begin to acquire property, possessions a home and family.

I decided to start at this fifth period and investigate my past to verify Haanel’s statements. In this fifth period, although I had no property, I had and was acquiring possessions, a car, clothing, diplomas, electrician’s license a pretty good job with the Transit Commission, I was a volunteer firefighter, working to become a career firefighter. I was renting an apartment at the time, and I did meet someone special with whom I fell in love with, and with whom I have a beautiful family with today. Ok. Constructive period, I can see that.

The next from 35 to 42 is a period of reactions and changes…

I think back again. Reactions and changes… I went through many. Here are some of them. I was overcoming a sickness and on the road to recovery. My wife and I joined an mlm business. I decided to leave the Transit Commission and pursue my dream of becoming a career firefighter. At 35 my son was born, at 36 I earned a job as a career firefighter, at 38 my daughter was born. I was drawn into the realm of personal development, which then became and is now self-discovery. I am now 40, so there is still a lot of time for more reactions and changes and I know there will be.

…and this in turn is followed by a period of reconstruction, readjustment and recuperation…

As I read this part I can’t help but think it’s a little eerie that there is quite a bit of truth to that. I’m sitting here writing this post and I think about this MKMMA course… reconstruction… creating a new blueprint for the subconscious mind… readjustment… shifting from scattered or negative thoughts to positive and focused thoughts… recuperation… the recovery or regaining of something… regaining control of my mind to recover my life and live it with purpose from here on in. I believe that I am setting things in motion for this next period.

…so as to be ready for a new cycle of sevens, beginning with the fiftieth year.

Wait a minute… did he say fiftieth year? I am overwhelmed with emotion as I read this part and in a little bit of shock. I fumble through the original copies of my DMP to find it, something I left out because I didn’t know how to fit in… “Retiring at 50 from the Fire Service before Friday September 25th, 2025…” Well isn’t that interesting, I left it out of my DMP… because I didn’t know how to fit it in. What I find even more interesting is that I felt compelled to put this piece back into my Press Release (sorry still haven’t got the revised version up yet).

He goes on to say that:

Those familiar with these cycles will not be disturbed when things seem to go wrong, but can apply the principle outlined in these lessons with full assurance that a higher law will invariably control all other laws, and that through an understanding and conscious operation of spiritual laws, we can convert every seeming difficulty into a blessing.

I believe this statement more and more every day as I practice and apply what I am learning through the MKMMA course.

Second:

Something that I have been struggling with for some time now, and something that I think about daily. My DMP, Personal Pivotal Needs(PPNs) and SMART goals. SMART goals… a means to accomplishing an end… PPNs. When I achieve what it is that I want does that mean that my end becomes the means to the next end? What are your thoughts?

Week 15 MKMMA – Four Habits

Last week for the MKMMA course we were asked to pick and watch a movie from a list. While watching the movie we were to observe four habits. They are:

  1. A definite major purpose
  2. A plan of action
  3. A mastermind alliance
  4. A positive mental attitude

I chose to watch the movie Wild.

Cheryl Strayed is a woman who has had a rough upbringing, with one guiding light that tries to keep her positive, but when a tragic event happens, she loses that guiding light and her life takes a turn for the worst. She makes a lot of wrong choices, which eventually brings her to a crossroads. She has a decision to make: continue down the path of darkness or take the steps necessary to change her current condition.

These are some of the things I observed.

  1. Her definite major purpose: She wanted enjoy life again, to leave the destructive life that she had created for herself behind.
  2. Her plan of action: A journey of self-discovery and healing hiking 1,100 miles of the Pacific Crest Trail.
  3. A mastermind alliance: She meets up with many people on her journey, people curious about her journey, people who she had inspired. Along the trail there are numerous hiker’s record books in which she would frequently leave quotes, the people behind her would have read them and were amazed that she was hiking the trail by herself. She met up with people who gave her support and guidance, and people who offered her encouragement.
  4. A positive mental attitude: To be a female and hike the trail alone speaks volumes about her attitude and despite all the adversity she faced she was persistent and always moved forward.

There is one part of the movie that kind of stuck in my head and thought would be worth mentioning. During her journey she is approached by a reporter while hiking on the side of the road. The reporter is convinced that she is a hobo and despite her trying to defend herself fails to convince him otherwise. But she stayed true to herself and would not give in to his stereotype. Quite often in life people will come along and tell you who they think you should be based on ideas that they have in their mind. One thing to remember is that it doesen’t matter what other people think or say about you. You have thoughts and when you truly believe in yourself that is all that is necessary to take action to get you to where you want to go.

Week 14 MKMMA – Discoveries, Persistence, The Power of a Simple Affirmation, and a Tiny Little Exercise

What I had hoped for is now happening. I wrote it down in my DMP (Definite Major Purpose), I visualized it, I applied the knowledge and skills developed through the MKMMA course, I was and still am persistent, and I am in awe.

I understand even more now the purpose of personal pivotal needs and fulfilling them. I don’t just stop doing them once I’ve achieved them, they become part of who I am, they’ve become part of my new habits and continue to manifest as I continue to move forward. They become part of my life.

As I read my DMP and sit and think on it more and more, constantly visualizing it, I am amazed at how I set things up without fully realizing the profound impact it would have on me. There is an affirmation that was presented to us in the MKMMA course and a suggestion to repeat it over and over again in the mind. I decided to try this one day while looking at my movie poster and I just began to smile, the affirmation fit perfectly with my PPN’s (personal pivotal needs) and  their SMART goals!

I have at the top from left to right Spiritual Growth and for my SMART goals I have following my plan of action, and charging thoughts with feelings to achieve peace within – I am whole, perfect.

I have at the bottom right of my poster True Health and for my first SMART goal I have fit at 150lbs and full of energy, and OATS with success (Objectives, Actions, Time, Schedule) which means to me to work on being effective with the time I have – strong, powerful.

My second SMART goal for my True Health is keep giving to keep getting, to have gratitude for life – loving, harmonious and happy.

Being able to link the affirmation to my movie poster and essentially my DMP has helped make my visualization even more clear, more focussed.

Several things have happened this past week to confirm that I am on the right track. I make a conscious effort to continually give now more so than ever and without expectation of reciprocity. I continue to give love to everyone, and do my best to be of service whenever I can.

I received the most wonderful compliment about my personality and character from my mother-in-law and the impact that it has had on her family.

I wanted a hosted blog site, I had to find money for this, I decided to take overtime when the opportunity came up, it did come up, but with family plans over the Christmas holidays, I chose to do what I thought was more important, spend time with my family. A couple days after Christmas I received money as a gift from my mother. The only person that knew about what I wanted to do and the cost was my wife.

I have struggled with scheduling and planning things for many years, last week on an index card I wrote out certain things that I do regularly over the course of the week and beside each one I wrote down the time it should take me to get it done. I used the timer on my watch to hold me accountable. It worked. One other key thing I decided to do was to not be so concerned about what time I decided to something but I focussed more on being effective within the time I had set out to complete whatever it was I had set out to do.

This past Wednesday night my wife and I made dinner. Even with all the confusion from our two tired children and the cat, several things on the go at the same time, I was able to stay focussed on getting dinner done. We worked harmoniously together, even with the occasional break to get the kids focussed on something so we could continue cooking, it was a lot of fun. We were able to get everything done and finish eating (I went a few minutes over) within the time I had set out. And we had enough time to sit and watch a movie with the kids before bedtime, it was a wonderful night.

One other event happened to me that I thought is worth mentioning and remembering. On Thursday morning I had a dilema to deal with. I had a decision to make and two choices that would dictate my outcome for the rest of the day. I could choose to dwell on the decision I made and let that consume my mind with thoughts of, “what will happen with the decision I made, who will it affect and how, and did I do the right thing…” or I could accept the decision I made, celebrate the fact that I made the decision and choose to let it go, and enjoy the rest of the day.

I went with the second choice. But I knew that I would have some challenges of sticking with my choice, so I devised a plan and put it into action.

I did two things to ensure I would not slip back into my old habits. First I used an exercise called NARC (Neurological Associative Reactive Conditioning). Basically what I did was my daily morning readings, then I put them all away. I associated putting all my readings away with giving up and thought about how that would feel. I could not pick them up until I made it through the day, focussing on enjoying it. The second thing I did was repeat in my mind the affimation, “I am whole, perfect,strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy.” I would repeat this over and over again in my mind anytime I would start thinking about the choice I had made in the morning or any other time a thought would enter my mind that had no definite helpful end in view. It worked. I even noticed that I would smile anytime I thought it. I made it through the day with success. At the end of the night I completed the NARC exercise by taking all my readings out that I had put away and linking a happy pleasurable feeling with achieving what I had set out to do which was enjoying the day. I’ve also noticed that this affirmation is now stuck in my head. It is now Sunday and I am still using it whenever I need to.

This week has been truly incredible for me and even though I did not achieve some of my True Health goals on the date that I had set out, I have much more to be happy for. I will refocus, persist and succeed.